What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
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