You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.