you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
These People Had Regrettable One Night Stands
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
This Girl Makes Latte Art That’s Too Cute to Drink
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.