4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
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He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
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I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Someone stole a lamp last night.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.