Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Sex on roller skates
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.