What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
