I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
