so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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