Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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