Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Green mimosas i think yes
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
