We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
