i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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