he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
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Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
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We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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