i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
