Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
