i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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