Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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