We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize
