i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
