She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
