so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
