Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize
