She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
