apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
either way he was missing a nipple.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
