in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Randomize
