Pants 0. Shit 1.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
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