16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Randomize
