Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
