they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
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