i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
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