I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
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