He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
me + whiskey = a bad person
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
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