I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Randomize
