I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Randomize
