Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Randomize
