Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
