I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
