he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
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