do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Randomize
