he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
