literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
vagina is talking i cant
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Randomize
