It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Randomize
