I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
