And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
