JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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