I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Randomize
