And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
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