turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
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