is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
