I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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