Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
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