Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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