I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
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