She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
It's never too late to be topless.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Randomize
