i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Randomize
