I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
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