Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize