If i come over, it means nothing
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
