woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Randomize
